HI. MY NAME IS KIAT AND I'M AN INSOMNIAC.

As far back as i can remember, I've had problems sleeping. In fact, I was told tat as a baby, I rarely ever took afternoon naps like most regular babies would. Whenever the time came for a midday siesta, I would have none of it. Instead, i would either be crying for attention, playing with my feet, or i'd be sipping a double espresso at the nearest starbucks. So you see, even as a baby, I rarely got any sleep.

I read somewhere that a few years back that there once was an indian lad who only required about five hours of sleep every week. Because of all the spare time he had on his hands (and presumably also it wasn't cricket season in india), by the time tis young man was 18, he had already earned his PhD. possibly in Astronomy.

Anyway, my point is this-even though i, too, suffer from a similar sleeping disorder, by the time i turned 18, all i had to show for it were a couple of eye bags.

And i should've seen it coming too, when many years ago, i chanced upon a horoscope reading of mine that suggested a couple of career options that would best suit my temperament. they were, namely-bouncer, vampire, owl or jaga.

Unfortunately, i picked noneof the above career paths. instead, i choose to hold down a job that requires me to be in the office circa 9am every morning. this same office also frowns upon employees who fall asleep at their desks at 4pm. Nazis.

So my inability to sleep at night-exacerbated by the fact that at 4am, The Planet's Funniest Animals is just about as funny as Wheel Of Fortune at 4.30am-turned out to be a major kink in my adult working life.

And i've tried just about everything under the midnight moon to help me get some sleep. such as aromatherapy-ie filling my bedroom with the gentle perfume of lavender, which is supposeto contain calming properties. And i'll admit that lavender does somehow soothe my senses, permeating my entire being with an air of tranquillity that's very conducive to slumber. If only i could get past my incessant fear that the tealight will somehow torch my flat, and myself with it, in the middle of the night.

I've tried ingesting cough mixture, the kind that cause drowsiness, in potently dangerous quantities. (note: the writer is a trained moron and readers are strongly advised not to try this at home.) i still didn't manage to get any sleep, but i think my larynx did, because i didn't cough at all for months afterwards.

I've also tried the popular sleeping aid, Valium, and it was good for about a week before my body got smart to it and started building an immunity-perhaps with a little help from mr cough mixture-against the sedative.

The muscle relaxants came after tat. they lull your body into a dreamy stateof being, but they dun do the same for the brain. which is just hell because i'm lying here, fully aware that i'm watching a particularly bad episode of The Planet's Funniest Animals, and i am immobile, completely powerless to reach for the remote.

The final straw for me was to count sheep,which is the stupidest idea i've ever heard of, probably conceived by the shepherd boy who didn't have any friends because he cried wolf one times too many and was thus bored out of his lying wits. The sheep-counting method didn't work for me because by the time, i reslised three things-

(1) my maths isn't very good,
(2) there are nver any sheep on The Planet's Funniest Animals because sheep can't really ham it up, and
(3) i think i can't sleep beacuse i'm hungry for some soup kambling.

- +Sleepless???+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:34 AM