Monday, February 28, 2005
Ok...I'm starting to suffer from the so called "side-effects" of trying to quit smoking.
1) starting to get cranky.
2) starting to space out.
3) starting to get cranky.
4) starting to find food tasteless.
5) starting to get cranky.
5) starting to feel tired easily.
6) did I tell u guys tat I'm starting to get cranky?
Man! I can't stop. I gotta quit! I wan my end of the year Japan trip!
- +Kill me Slowly+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 10:16 PM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Man....I like totally loss it last nite over majong session. Cause I'm like trying to quit smoking. Yup.... The price of ciggies has gone up again. And tis time round, it's gone up by like another dollar or a dollar and a half. Man! This stuff is getting way too "high class" for me! It's like over the 1 year, if I was to like quit, the amount tat I can save up would be something like tis...
1 day of Marlboro = $11.50
1 month's worth of Marlboro(only take in 30 days) = $345
1 year worth of Marlboro = $4140
WOW! Tat means I can go on a holiday to either Thailand or Hong Kong on a average of 2-3 months of I can go to Japan end of the year! I can't really believe it! Tat I'm wasting all tis money buying stuff tat end up in ashes and smoke by the end of the day.
BUT....There's always a but. In exchange for he amount of money tat I can save up, I'll get all short tempered and short fused and having mood swings again. Man.....There's always a trade-off in everything.
I really wanna quit smoking. There's always more good then harm in quitting smoking. So I guess I'll rather be cranky for a while then be broke. At least the crankiness is just gonna last for only a while. :P KIAT! WAKE UP! U CAN HEAD OVER TO JAPAN EVERY YEAR IF U QUIT MAN! Yah...........That's a good motivation for starters... :)
and oso by the way, the price of ciggies are like gonna increase again by April. According to some reliable info. Tat sucks big time. But then again, giving me another reason to quit.
I guess I'll try out tis way of mind. I'll put up one saving "thingy" for tis quit smoking project. Let's see.....everytime tat I wanna buy ciggies, I'll just throw tat money into the saving can or wat ever, and take back the change of whatever there should be. Then after two weeks, I'll just peek inside the saving thing and see how much I can be able to save. :) hee! Tat should be a good idea. I should see if I'll able to shock myself into quitting smoking or not! :P
and thus, the quit smoking project starts now....Wish me luck people! Man! Am I ever gonna need all the luck I can get! :)
- +To Quit Or Not To Quit+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:22 PM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Ok...Guys....Any feedback from you ppl would be nice.
Hong Kong or Taiwan?
Tis question has been on my mind for this past week. And I'm gonna go crazy over tis topic soon!
Taiwan has more things to buy, but Hong Kong is cheaper.
Argh!!!! Decisions decisions! Choices choices! They're always so hard to make. And the best part is tat I'm up blogging tis cause I can't get to sleep cause of tis stupid thing. :(
I'll try to knock myself out now. Nites ppl.....
Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan?? Hong Kong or Taiwan??
- +WHERE??? I"M GOING CRAZY THINKING BOUT IT!!!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:32 AM
Hey guys! I'm back from Banyan Tree Bintan! :P yup yup.....I can hear a lot of ppl swearing in the background already! BANYAN TREE!!! Hee! Envy or not guys? Especially my three sayangs rite??? I already had one complaining to me tis morning already! hahaha!
Yup.....Really enjoyed myself over there! Brought my baby over there as her V-day present. Over-pampering her some might say? Nay! It's only rite tat I pamper her. After all, my baby loves me so much! hee! Yah....There we were, at bintan, with no worries, nothing to think bout, no one to face, just me and my baby enjoying the view, the sea breeze, the waves, the sun and us. :P
And man! Do the stuff at Banyan Tree really pamper us! They treat everyone like royalty over there! All smiles are heart warming and from the heart. No holding back on anything and they never look down on anyone. Yup...They're tat good! I'll really give them two thumbs up man!!!
Wat more can I say.....The view over there is way cool....The service is top notch. I really cannot think of anything more to say bout tat place. Good? tats way under rating it already.
All I can say is tat, yah...I sure had fun with my baby. And we enjoyed each others' company. *wink* *wink* :P
So folks, I can't think of anything more to say bout the trip already. Something are more easy to remember them and think bout them in my heart rather then typing it out. Well....I'll just say tat, some things in life, are meant to be kept in the heart and mind, only to be enjoyed by oneself only. :) So u guys can look at the pics and enjoy them. :P that's the best I can offer!!! hahaha!
Kiat, the sun burned one, is now gonna hug his baby tats already sleeping on the bed. nites ppl!
- +Banyan Tree Bintan+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:54 AM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I deem tis pix as one of my most fav! just lazing around and over looking the south china sea. Man! The life most ppl crave for... 
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:51 PM
Beach, sand, waves and love...wat can be more perfect? :)
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:45 PM
View Of The Beach Pool, Banyan Tree.
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:43 PM
THE WAVES! CHECK OUT THE CLEAR CLEAR WAVES AND CLEAN CLEAN BEACH! MAN!!! I LOVED IT! :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:39 PM
Check out the pool!!! One side is cropped off so the water is flowing over the pool! Coolz......
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:36 PM
k...minus off the outfit, I'm really enjoying myself. It's a last min trip! I dun have time to pack!
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:34 PM
Nice? Nope, i did not edit, it's a combo of the morning sun and mist.... Tis ppl..., is my Villa. :)
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:31 PM
WOW! U'll not get tis kinda view in Singapore man!
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:30 PM
Geting more and more beautiful... :)
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:29 PM
1st sunrise in Bintan. Man! It's really beautiful.
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:26 PM
Yup...U guys guessed it rite...MY VERY OWN OUTDOOR JACUZZI in my villa! HEE! It can only be Banyan Tree. :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:23 PM
My bed... :P Man! I'm over-pampered! :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:20 PM
The view of the sea from my villa's door
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 5:18 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Oh yeah. I've gotten so busy tat I've forgotten to post pics of my latest piercing in bangkok. It's all busy busy busy since I've gotten back. Wait, or was it just plain lazy me? :P anyways....below are the pics. Surprisingly, tis time round, the finger stud was not as painful as the last one tat i had it done on the web of my last finger. And it heals up pretty well, i would say. It's been like wat? 3 weeks? And it still shows no sign of rejection. Still a bit swelling though, but it'll clear up with proper care.
One thing bout the piercing tats done in bangkok, it's fast, good, clean and hassle-free! Ya! really! Everything is done under 5 mins. 10 mins max for harder to reach spots. From opening the neddle pack, to cleaning the neddle and studs, to poking thru your skin and finally, fixing the stud, all in under 5 mins! Even my finger stud was oso done in under 5 mins. They're fast, really really fast. Can be compared factory machines! :P Come, poke, go, NEXT! Come, poke, go! And the cycle continues. :P And the piercing tats done over there in bangkok, they heals up fast and well. No joke man! my both tragus gave me no problem, my tongue stud is still there, and i'm not dead yet! :P My finger stud is doing well now. The only thing tat went wrong was my last finger's webbing piercing. Tat was in a way my fault cause i choose a shorter stud. But, all in all, everything tat has being pierced over there turns out very healthy. :)
One thing bout our own singapore piercing "experts" is tat i dun trust them at all. After 2 piercing tat i had them done in singapore, i did not like them tat much. Why? Cause they keep giving me problems. And to think tat singapore's piercers are like labeled as one of the most pro's. My Ass man! Not worth the money, not worth the time. The thing bout singapore piercers is tat they dun dare to try new places. They're forever tongue, navel and all the other common parts of the body. How can we go on without progress?
So my views on them...
Singapore piercers = old fashion uncles/aunties.
After so many piercings and which i've taken out some of them, there is like no where else to poke anymore. Maybe one more industrial and tats it for me. Or if i strike to-to or 4D, maybe i'll go for the tongue-split thingy. rite now only Mount E do it and they charge like a whopping $900 for a two time process. Tat should be an interesting thought. :P hee!But there is always one thing tat i would like to try...or rather 2 things. After playing with piercing for so long already, the idea of branding and body insertation has really made a lasting impression on me. But tat would take careful research and planning to carry out. I'll do some research on it and i'll keep you guys posted ya? Tat should be an interesting way of body deco. Takes it to new heights ya? Hahahaha! :P
- +Made In Bangkok+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:30 PM
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makes a new meaning to the ever popular term "fuck you" rite? hahaha! :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:23 PM
.1.jpg)
my latest "poking thru the skin!" :P
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Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 12:18 PM
Since everyone of us is still having some hangover from the feeling of loved or being loved last nite, and tat ppl are still on the topic of valentine's day, let's take a quick look at history...
The History of Valentine's Day
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.
Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE!!!
- +A bit of history+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 10:54 AM
Happy Valentine's day ppl! It's gonna be a short post for now cause i'm very happy and my head is way over the clouds! So i can't think of anything to blog! So a short note! May everyone stay happy always! No matter if it's a couple or singlehood. Love is in the air! And it's not just today only ya?! Stay lovely ppl! Kiat out for now. Will tell you guys more bout wat happen later ya?!
*Kiat walks away...floating in the air, head over the clouds! :P*
- +V-Day+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 1:08 AM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Point to debate on...do u guys agree tat when u get older, somehow, the CNY mood is lost? It's like when we were young, things are sao much simple. Wake up, greet mum and dad happy chinese new year, snack on chinese new year goodies, get "Ang Baos", dress nice nice to go out and do CNY visiting, eat more chinese new year goodies, get more "Ang baos", play with all your relatives, still forcing down all those chinese new year goodies, try to act grown up by gambling, (Ya....we do tat when we were young! Remember those 10 cents, 20 cents blackjack? :P) still eat some more chinese new year goodies, gather with all the uncles and aunts, it's so happy back then for us.
And yet now, it's like only 4 plus in the afternoon and i'm back home. Not tat i mind, I've grown up over the "Ang baos" thingy. It's like, the unity is not there anymore. Everyone has got their own life now. Some has got to get to their girlfriends/boyfriends home to visit their parents, some just dun wanna go tis house cause of some unhappy stuff over some time back, some just choose to stay at home and not go out at all. I mean, wats tis man? IT'S CHINESE NEW YEAR. It's our time. Our so called "birth rights thing". And from the way we're treating it, it seems like we're throwing away chinese new year. Who knows? Maybe 10 years down the road, chinese new year will be like just a normal public holiday to all of us, perhaps something like labour day of vesak day. Woooooo......man! Tats really scary...
It's not tat i'm complaining or anything, I just felt a sense of loss. Back then, things were so much happier, much more simple. Well, i guess tat i can only look back and smile upon it and tell myself tat yup, i had tat really nice chinese new year feeling back then and ya...it's good. I had it before.
Well...better stop here ofr the time being. My baby's coming over to visit my parents. And they're expecting her anytime. And well...one thing comforting though, my parents really like my baby. Why, cause they're asking me bout her on if she's coming over to visit them. Yes baby...u'll read tis post sooner or later...they're your parents now...not mine! u've managed to won them over to your side! :P Muacks!
Tis CNY is not so bad after all...
- +As U gets older, the CNY gets more boring...+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:30 PM
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR GUYS AND GALS!
It's the start of a brand new year once more! May everything turns out well and fine for all of us and may things go smoothly our way! It's gonna be a good year for me! Yup! I can really sense it! All the bad things are gone out of my life and i can have a brand new start to my own life and not having to worry or be there for anyone except for my baby and spancer. Some ppl are just not worth it. When the end of the day comes, they just think of themselves. No point doing so much for them in the beginning. No point in dragging and fighting all the time. Some things are just not worth it.
Please...look for your pity elsewhere.
Tis is it. A new year, A new start. No more will i have anything to do with the past and no more will i look back at the past. I've wasted my life for bout 1 year plus after esther for nothing at all. Just some pity tat i thought i can change it into love, which in the end, i can't. And i'm not gonna do tat anymore. Ever since i've found my baby, things are starting to look brighter and we're happier as each day goes by. Wat we want now for us is just a simple life, and through the both of us, we've found tat simple life tat we have been looking for all this while. Sure, it took us a long while and a long time to find each other. But wat matters in the end is tat, we've finally found each other. And tat is wat it all matters bout. I'm glad. Finally i can live my life for myself and for the one tat i truly love who loves me back as much as i do in return.
Thank you my baby. I love you...muacks! Happy chinese new year!!!
- +A new year, a new start+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 7:10 AM
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Been a few days since I last blogged. Been busy with packing my room. Man! I did not know tat there's like soooooooo much stuff to pack and throw away! And it's all coming from my room! Can u guys try to picture tat? And it's like only one room only!!! And the funny and ironic thing is tat, after all the packing, the freaking still looks the same to me! *Pangz!* But! There's always a but, at least the room looks neater and more fit for a human to live in!
Baby and me managed to throw away like 10-12 bags worth of junks! Wow! Tat much rubbish man! Ranging from like bills collected from 1 plus year back to pay slips, from "some stuff tat are meant to throw away last year" when it all ended to empty lighters! Ya....No more gas left in them already. Still dun know why I kept those. Lots of papers though. Notes leftover from copying them from frens and classmates, my old textbooks and notes. Tons and tons of postcards, all my posters from GV. Ya.....somethings after-all, are better off left kept in the heart rather then in items. Only kept one and one single poster. It's "The Day After Tomorrow", cause tat poster is rather a special one. And my "Spiderman 2" poster stand, which I took much pain and effort to take them apart. Those are for my walls! Just nice, 3 big posters that can cover my whole wall! Special rite!?
Now, my room really looks like there's more space to move around! A very big thanks to you baby, for taking the time to help me pack my room and listening to me whine while I'm a bit pissed of with packing the room. And thanks for throwing out a lot of crap tat I had, cause knowing me, I'll keep everything and not throw them away and in the end, the room will still end up even more messy then wat I started out with.
Even though my room is still not really done with packing yet, I've gotta admit, it's really a big difference from wat it started out to be. Hey! I spend 2 freaking days at it k!! It's more then enough for me! As for the rest of the stuff, they have gotta wait till after new year. I'm way too shagged out, both in mind and body to carry on packing. Sorry mom! That's the best I can offer you at tis moment of time! I'm sure you're quite happy as well rite? So just give and take k? :P
Yeah...We went for dinner cum supper after tat. Both of us are quite drained out already. Well, I'll not say much on wat happened, cause somethings are meant to savor in the heart. Baby met up with her 1st love for supper cause he just came back from the states, I went along and the meeting was quiet good. Well...wat can I say? Nothing much was exchanged between us during the meeting, but tonite's meeting really seals up one thing. Tat my baby is ready to move on with me. And tat wat we have between us is pure and true love. Tats all...Just simple love for each other. And ya....tats more then enough for me. Cause simple things are often the hardest things to grasp in your hand.
It's not tat i need assurance or anything like tat. And also, i have never see myself as a replacement for her 1st boyfriend or anything like that. I just love tis silly gal of mine for god knows watever reason. Funny way of loving rite? well...to me, it works in tis way...when i dun know why i love a person, i'll carry on loving her till i find out the reason. And when i find out the reason for loving her, I'll work harder towards tat reason so that i can love her more. With tis, it's a win-win thing! :P wahahahaha! clever rite? :P
All i ever wanted was a simple life with the one tat i love. With esther, we nearly hit towards tat level. But in a way, too bad we did not work out. But at least, she found someone tat really loves her back as much as sge loves him. Tats good for her. I'm truly happy for esther. With meiting, we're nowhere near tat level. Cause it was never meant to be in the first place. And also, we're trying way too hard for the wrong reason. With my baby, we dun even have to try. Somehow, the feeling just flowed into us, and we just let it flowed into each other. We did not even try anything at all. Everything just happened on its own. Tis is the simple life tat both of us are after. Yup...and we've found tat simple thing and simple life in each other. :)
:) I just love it when my baby looks at me, into my eyes. The feeling of being loved is so nice and warm. Yup...her face is the face tat i wanna spend the rest of my life with. Tat face is the first thing tat i would love to see first thing in the morning when i wake up, and the last to see when i fall asleep. It's truly magical tat we've found each other. Hee! Given tat the first time tat she sees me, her impression of me to her is not a good one at all. But baby, even though the time we are together is short, but the feeling tat we have is really something very strong, tat nothing could break. Yup yup...tats my baby and our simple life for you guys!
I feel so blissed...................
- +Mood...Over The Moon!+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:39 AM
Friday, February 04, 2005
HI. MY NAME IS KIAT AND I'M AN INSOMNIAC.
As far back as i can remember, I've had problems sleeping. In fact, I was told tat as a baby, I rarely ever took afternoon naps like most regular babies would. Whenever the time came for a midday siesta, I would have none of it. Instead, i would either be crying for attention, playing with my feet, or i'd be sipping a double espresso at the nearest starbucks. So you see, even as a baby, I rarely got any sleep.
I read somewhere that a few years back that there once was an indian lad who only required about five hours of sleep every week. Because of all the spare time he had on his hands (and presumably also it wasn't cricket season in india), by the time tis young man was 18, he had already earned his PhD. possibly in Astronomy.
Anyway, my point is this-even though i, too, suffer from a similar sleeping disorder, by the time i turned 18, all i had to show for it were a couple of eye bags.
And i should've seen it coming too, when many years ago, i chanced upon a horoscope reading of mine that suggested a couple of career options that would best suit my temperament. they were, namely-bouncer, vampire, owl or jaga.
Unfortunately, i picked noneof the above career paths. instead, i choose to hold down a job that requires me to be in the office circa 9am every morning. this same office also frowns upon employees who fall asleep at their desks at 4pm. Nazis.
So my inability to sleep at night-exacerbated by the fact that at 4am, The Planet's Funniest Animals is just about as funny as Wheel Of Fortune at 4.30am-turned out to be a major kink in my adult working life.
And i've tried just about everything under the midnight moon to help me get some sleep. such as aromatherapy-ie filling my bedroom with the gentle perfume of lavender, which is supposeto contain calming properties. And i'll admit that lavender does somehow soothe my senses, permeating my entire being with an air of tranquillity that's very conducive to slumber. If only i could get past my incessant fear that the tealight will somehow torch my flat, and myself with it, in the middle of the night.
I've tried ingesting cough mixture, the kind that cause drowsiness, in potently dangerous quantities. (note: the writer is a trained moron and readers are strongly advised not to try this at home.) i still didn't manage to get any sleep, but i think my larynx did, because i didn't cough at all for months afterwards.
I've also tried the popular sleeping aid, Valium, and it was good for about a week before my body got smart to it and started building an immunity-perhaps with a little help from mr cough mixture-against the sedative.
The muscle relaxants came after tat. they lull your body into a dreamy stateof being, but they dun do the same for the brain. which is just hell because i'm lying here, fully aware that i'm watching a particularly bad episode of The Planet's Funniest Animals, and i am immobile, completely powerless to reach for the remote.
The final straw for me was to count sheep,which is the stupidest idea i've ever heard of, probably conceived by the shepherd boy who didn't have any friends because he cried wolf one times too many and was thus bored out of his lying wits. The sheep-counting method didn't work for me because by the time, i reslised three things-
(1) my maths isn't very good,
(2) there are nver any sheep on The Planet's Funniest Animals because sheep can't really ham it up, and
(3) i think i can't sleep beacuse i'm hungry for some soup kambling.
- +Sleepless???+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:34 AM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Was looking through some blog skins just now and chance upon tis one. Dun know why, Dun know how, i just kept staring at it for a long long time. Suddenly, the 9-11 incident, the bali bombing, the tsunamis all came rushing into my head. the death count, the sorrow, the pain, i wonder how could one ever go through tat kinda hurt and pain. the strength tat they have must be straining for them to draw out. To be able to draw out tis kinda strength needs a certain amount of courage. And from where do these ppl draw their courage from? Tat is one thing i would really love to know. To know and to learn.
A moment of silent, for the lives that were taken, for people that were affected.
- +A silent minute for the people who suffered...+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 2:01 PM
Had a chat with esther just now. She's getting engaged! Wow! Happy for her man! Yup....the happiness truly comes from the heart. At least she found someone tat she can love deeply and tat person loves her back in return. Had an interesting chat with her though,
Esther : "So how are you coping now? Your voice is really very different from the last time we chatted"
Me : "Getting better. Same as you, i've also found someone tat i can really love her for who she is."
Esther : "Tats good. I'm really happy for you. And i know tat the gal must be better then me. The things tat u told me tat u did for her, U never do for me before u know. Hee!"
Me : "Ok lah! Dun say till like tat can? Hahaha! U got your own darling now wat! He also do the things tat i never do before."
Esther : "So meiting is really the past already ar? She's not worth it lah. Too young for you. And her thinking is also very young. She seeks attention. U know tat. And knowing u, u'll give in all the time till the time comes where u'll just burst."
Me : "Ya....i know. She's the past already. I should have listen to all you and the ppl from GV and should have never got involved with her. But everything's ok now. I really found someone tat i can love. I'm happy. Like i told u before, simple things are often the hardest things to grasp in your hands.
Esther : "Ya lah! And I still cannot believe tat u can take her excuse of she been blur blur lead into bed by her ex while she is with you. U have made a laughing fool and yet u can still take it laying down. Come on kiat....it takes two hands to clap. True, u have being unfaithful yo her, but did u do anything? Ya...u and the other gal just kissed, but meiting went to bed with her ex! Who's the true unfaithful one? Who's the slut? You have been taken for a fool! You have been taken for a ride silly boy! And yet u choose to believe her?! I got nothing to say man!
It was at tis point of time, where i really did think back. Was i really been taken as a fool? Was i been taken for a ride? never did anyone see the 2 of us getting anywhere. jason, my ex C.E from GV told me tat she's not the one, i'm only taking her as a rebounce for esther. tat i can't stand to be lonely now. Alvin also told me tat as well. in fact, the whole of GV tells me tat, including my own brother. but na, i was headstrong. i thought i could love her for who she is, not for wat i wanna see her to be. Ginger oso told me before tat i'm stupid in tat i believe her story. everything takes 2 hands to clap, she told me. how can a person force her to do something she dun wan? Ya....true...it does takes both hands to clap. If she is unwilling, jon would not have bedded her tat nite. And i still happily accept her reason tat she was confused and did not know wat to do. hahaha! looking back, was i stupid? or was i blinded? if a person dun wanna be fucked, there's nothing the other party can do, expect to rape her then. ya....i'm the one tats unfaithful in the 1st place. but then again, fucking another guy while u're in a relationship? na.....tat should not be the way. and worse of all, singapore is not small. and NTU is oso not small. within like 3 weeks, rumors did fly into zouk during a bash stating tat tis gal from tampines GV is no problem to be picked up at all, to bring home and fuck. and i still try to cover for her, believing in wat she has told me. but hey, tat was my choice back then. i'll accept it. from tis i know, do wat not to others, unless u wan others do to you. i guess in a way, she paid a price for her "wonderful" nite of non stop sex (tat was wat she told me in the bus on the way to tampines) back in NTU, was tat she became a "well-known picked-up gal" in NTU for a while (those are the word for word phase tat i heard). tats kinda sad for her. i feel sorry for her, indeed i do. as much as i tried to shut the whole thing up, still some news managed to leak out. oh yeah, another thing bout uni ppl, they can't seems to be able to keep their mouths shut. everything just flies out of their mouths. so ppl....next time u chanced upon a uni person, just be careful ya?
but then again, looking back, i can at least tell myself tat i did have no regrets. at least i tried to love her. tat i can be sure of myself. things just got out of hand for us to handle. wat everyone says is rite. we would really be better off as normal frens, rather then trying to start something by force. i felt trapped inside the whole thing. and i did not have the courage to let myself out. but now, everything becomes a clearer pix. i'm able to judge things better for myself and tat i know wat i wan and where am i going in my life.
i can see clearly now, the rain is gone. i can see all obstacles in my way... :)
- +life goes on+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:01 AM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Morning world! Wow! It's morning and I can't believe tat I'm actually up and not sleeping. Wat a feat! Guess my body is slowly adjusting itself back to the normal timing. Tats good. Guess it must be tat I'm not doing anything tat keeps me up late into the nite. Ya...it's time to cut down on a lot of things. Drinking, getting wasted, clubbing, partying, ya....all the so-called "sins"! Wahahah! Hhhhmmm......but wats life without all this sinful enjoyments? :P then life itself will be boring ya? Well....at least I can tell myself tat I, kiat, had once enjoyed all tis and oso, I've gone beyond the borders of all these "sins". So I guess now, it's the time (or should I say high time!) to hang up my dancing shoes, store away my drinking glass and put away my flirting eyes. :P
Since I found her, and oh yes, we did not expect each other to end up with each other in the 1st place, both me and her really did toned down a lot on our partying, drinking, clubbing and stuff like tat. Dun know why, but I just like to spent my time with her. The feeling now tat I'm having is like when I'm back to being 16, 17. Back to those secondary school days. So fairy-tale like. :P it may sounds kinda childish, but hey! I dun mind! And I dun care. I just feel really and truly happy with tis darling of mine. Yup...my silly baby... :)
I guess now tat I've found her, things on life are not tat bad after. Sure, u fall down in life once or twice, or perhaps at times, u fall down even more. But u have to get up after some time. True, in my case I fell down before, I got up thinking tat I've found something, but in the end it just turns out to be another false call, another empty shell, a shadow of someone tat i thought i can relate to, another person where i thought i can try to find the actual person in, but not. I just fell back down again. I just tat I'm not ready to climb up just yet at tat point of time. I was just deceived by myself and false feelings at tat time. I was, in a way, forced to climb up. But all tat failed me big time. Instead of climbing up, i sank in deeper, fell down harder.
Well....after looking at my blog, I was like thinking.....Hhhhmmm.....ya...sometimes angels do fall down. But it's only a matter of time before they pick themselves up. I have picked myself up already, and I'm ready to move on with life. Tis time round, I'm really sure of things. I'm a truly happy man! Hee!
Ya....it's oso time to change my blog's skin. The angel has found his pair of lost wings. He's ready to fly again. But tis time round, there will be another angel flying alongside him. The angel tat he has being searching for all this while. The angel tat has being missing from his life. And now tat he has found her, he'll tightly hold on to her, as she will to him and both of them will soar the skies freely with each other once again.
To the ever-blue skies tat we soar to seek together, where no dark clouds can ever reach us, where the only thing I can feel is the warmth of your embrace everywhere I turn...Baby, I found u...And I have to look no further anymore.
- +Changing Skins+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 4:28 PM
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