thing will not be the same anymore. true. ppl come and ppl go. things comes and things goes. things changed over time. everything? i dun know. perhaps...i guess it's true tat things changed over time. new become old, young become old, life becomes death.

ting...no matter wat i do now, i know it can't change a thing. maybe letting go was a good thing for us. or maybe letting go was a bad thing. i dun know. but as u know, i've always respect your wishes. so when u choose to let things and and break up, i had not much objections. true to a certain extend, we were each other's safety nets. always catching each other when we fall, always looking out for each other, always watching each other's back. perhaps tat is not gonna happen now. i dun know. there's always a big question and big dun know in life. maybe it's tat way for us.

we did had happy times together. and yes, i would agree tat it's really too short to end all those happy times. i did u a big wrong and i know tat watever way i try to make up for it or try to undo it, things will not be the same anymore. wats done has already being done. i can only regret and blame myself for it. it was a stupid mistake, but yet a mistake tat cost me big time. a mistake tat cost me you.

i wanted to truly love you. i really wanted to. but i had to make a mistake when i know tat i can and when i know i did. now tat's big time stupidness...and now...never could you look at me in the same way as before. no...i do want you to forgive me. cause i've really done a thing tat really broke your heart. maybe wat u did was rite, when you choose to break it off. i'll do u good. there's too much pain for you to bear. i told u before and i told myself before, never would i wanna see you upset or crying. but yet, i'm the one tat made you cried. i'm the one tat broke your heart. i'm sorry. but wats the use of my sorry when things already happened? when your tears are already flowing? i wish i can be there to wipe them away. but wat i really wish is tat i'm not the one who cause them to flow down in the first place.

could i let go? i dun know. over and over again i feel the pain in my heart. over and over again, i keep telling myself to let go, over and over again, i tell myself to be strong. but did i actually managed to do any of tis? i really dun know. could i do it? i dun know. rite now, life is really a big question and a big "i dun know" for me. funny how sometimes life gets you rite?

could i see you now as a fren or even as a stranger? could you see me tat way? if so, please do. i know it's better for you. at least u will not feel the hurt as much. if ever there's a suitation whereby the both of us have to get or be hurt, let me know. i'll always and gladly take all of the pain and let u walk away. NO. tis is not something tat i said to win your pity or any crap shit like tat. i'll do it cause 1 getting hurt is always better then 2 getting hurt. walk away without turning back your head k? dun ever turn back. least tis way, u'll not be able to see me at all. and in tis way, the hurt will not be there since u can't see it. it's better rite? it's noe selfless or noble or like watever, it's just something we both know we'll do for each other. but tis time, i'll rather be the one doing it. cause u've being thru too much pain for me to see.

of cause i would like to have a world where there is only the two of us. did we take too long to get together? if so, i can only blame myself. you were always there for me. always...without fail. and yet i let you down. of cause i wanna have only happy times with you only again. to hold you in my arms again, to hug you ever so tight again, to call you my baby once more, to have you again. i really wan tat. i wan tat so much. but it's all too late. way too late rite? i know....things will never be the same anymore. feelings will never be the same anymore. wats gone can't be found back rite? tat's wat you'll say rite? no doubt i'll agree with you. but only to some point baby. only to some point. i still love you. it's not a matter of letting og or not. the matter now is tat, ting my baby, i still love you.

so please, take care of yourself. u know you'll always catch a cold at nite if you dun cover up tight and warm. so pls cover up at nite k? remember tat. your nose is not tat good as well. tats another reason why u have to cover up. and try to learn to blow your nose k? it's not good to have them flowing backwards into your lungs. and if possible, pls go see a doc bout it k? remember to eat at the correct time k? dun always skip your meals k? both u and i know tats not good rite? you're strong. be strong. tats wat i like about you. and no.....you're not fat at all. and i really mean tat k? you're always wonderful to me.

on bad dreams...i know tat u always have bad or strange dreams when u slp. i really hope tat none of tis will happen again. i'll pray for only sweet dreams for you only. i hope tat someone up there hears me. well.....ok....to tell you the truth, after tat call u made tat week, i've being waiting for you to slp everyday. yes...maybe i'm waiting for tat call from you tat i know will not come. but i did hope for it. yup. the calls never come. so i waited. maybe i can't let go yet. maybe i can't let go at all. i dun know. i know u wan me to be happy. and yes, i really thank you for the thought. but i jus can't now. perhaps next time? i really dun know. rite now all i know is tat i'll still wait for you to slp in case you have any bad dreams, i'm still around in case u need me, in case u call me, in case you fall, just in case. true, i did lie to you before. but u know. u know it ting, tat i'll always be behind you catching you in case anything happen. pls dun ask me why i'm still doing it now. i really can't explain it to you. i'm doing it cause it's coming out of my heart and mind. i'm sorry if i pissed you off by doing so. i'm really sorry. but the thing is...i'm always be around and behind you when u need me.

cause ting...you're the most wonderful thing tat ever happened to me...

but then again, i guess it's really the end rite? well....to you ting...tis song's for you...for ting, my one and only gal tat i call her my baby only...you're the most wonderful thing tat has happened to me in tis life of mine...


Wonderful Tonight

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

- +it's not the same anymore+
Scribbled by Amateur Shutterbug @ 3:27 PM